the blogsters of orondax prime

so, i'm not a good blogster already, but i haven't had internet since i moved into this new dump. the old dump was tiny and loud, and flutey. the new dump is far away, quiet, expensive... i like this place because there are no people to bother me. by bother, i mean to annoy.

eugene mirman was at the booksmith last night. even though i hate when comedians i like write books and then go on these weird book tourers, making subdued jokes that yuppies and puppies get a chuckle out of, i'm kind of upset i didn't go. i mean, i really like eugene mirman and he was right there. at the same time i feel like it's kind of weird to be that close to someone you admire and just get up and leave afterwards and not saying anything. you might even get to say "hey man, i like your stuff", but that's even more awkward. and possibly leads to inquiries.

i went to the beer store. it was great! the barkeep says to me he says, "ever try bacon-infused bourbon?" and i was like "no but you're my new best friend!"

last night before i fell asleep i, for some reason, was thinking alot about high school. i mean, like weird situations that i haven't thought about for years and i almost felt as if i were living those same moments again. i believe i was partially asleep. the brain is fantastic.

i talked to my mom today. she talks about anything. i like it. one time, when my mom was visiting me in college and was having dinner with me and my friends, one of my friends commented how my mom and me should be a comedy team. in all honesty i think i do say some of my funniest things when talking to my mom. i can't even begin to comprehend how her mind must work... she wants to write a book with my cousin about how to create the perfect man...

norm macdonald was hilarious but he stoleded my material

hot pockets

why is it that hotpocket commercials always have 30 year olds playing the roles of younger kids?

it's awkward

i'm sick of boston

i don't like boston. i mean, come on, seriously? what is it that people like about this trash hole? after complaining about boston for a while andrea and i tried listing all the things we liked about the city. i inavertedly kept listing things i didn't like.

all i could come up with was, "i guess it's neat that it's historic."

come on boston!

miso soupey (poem)

i'm tired of beer
it's queer!

i'm tired of light
it's night!

i'm tired of noise
come on boyz!

i'm tired of goundhogs
they're groundhogs!

i'm tired of exclamation points
what's the point?!

i'm tired of boston
it's stupid!