Tuesday, January 5, 2010

it's so cold!

HOST: It's so cold!
Audience: How cold is it?!
HOST: 20 degrees!

Thursday, December 3, 2009


Mel Brook's movies are great. When I was a kid I loved them. When I started to think I knew things, I still liked them but thought they were cheesy. Now I know they're cheesy and great and great.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009


whence i was a young lad i thought that it was the american people who were idiots. as it turns out, most people are idiots! i guess i always knew this but i had hoped there was some far off country where people were decent and in the event of a worldly crisis, they would be able to fly their country to outer-space and be happy elsewhere.

on a side note, i think i'm about ready to get to work.

on another side note, please send me a dollar

Monday, November 30, 2009

Singles like me

Won't someone tell these dunderheads I'm not single?!?!?!?!

Great relationships based upon compatibility.
Discover why eHarmony is different...

Plus I hate Lee and Anne Marie.

I had an idea a while back about making a short video dealy about couples who meet online on these webby-things. Basically it's the two of them blathering on about how they met and how compatible they are and how they never thought in all their lives they'd meet someone as swell as "Lee" or "Anne Marie." Anyhow, while they're blathering on a la eharmony commercial, their friends are sitting there at a nice dinner party trying to be polite and listen, again, to their boring story of meeting online.

The rest of the dinner party guests keep on trying to change the subject or move on to another activity but the online dunderguests keep on bringing up compatibility, etc...

get it? because that's what they do on the commercials dumb dumb!

here's a side note about me: Whenever I realize I made a typing mistake, I either let it slide and chaulk it up to funny or i keep my finger on delete until i get to the mistake, even if that means re-typing perfectly fine words that i would keep otherwise! get it? so, say, i type: my name is batrick and eim a dunderhead!

in that sentence i would keep batrick because of the imagery but i would have deleted from the final exclamation point, all the way back to the e in eim, rather than simply using the mouse to delete the e and keep im.

is that bad or weird

you are

Find Quality Singles Like You

Friday, July 31, 2009

Blogs Postponed...

Dear reader,

As you may already know, I'm no good at keeping blogs updated. Now I find my self in the pickle of having two blogs to keep up with and the stress has been overwhelming. Thus, while I'm in Florida for the 67 Day of Smiles contest, please keep track of my exploits here:


Fever Pitch Rulez!

Monday, July 20, 2009


today's my birthday!


it's tomorrow loser!

Friday, July 17, 2009

drinks with axel

german axel came over with big cuts in his knees. he fell whence running. he also brought becks and alcohol for his wounds (besides the becks). i gave him hydrogen peroxide. both hutrt his knees. he picked up his hat and glasses he left here. we went to the store to get more beer because we were both in the drinking/talking mood... he left in his station wagon and left a hole in my heart. also, norm macdonald turned out to be a talking point of the night. that, and penises.